Nurturing Intimacy
Excerpt from The New Marriage Paradigm
by Moreah Ragusa

The soul yearns for moments of intimacy. And the authentic self within us all is magnetically drawn towards any opportunity to be intimate, not just physically, but emotionally and communicatively as well. Through the act of intimacy, we are unveiled, revealing our unprotected, unlimited, and unbounded radiant self. For this reason, intimacy is the dance of the soul, yet sheer treachery to the ego.

Intimacy occurs whenever we are courageous enough to dissolve our protective boundaries—anytime we are not consumed with the desire to be better than another. It occurs in any instant we choose the position of vulnerability over being defensive. In the decision to be intimate, we choose our macro–identification, rather than the micro-self. We override the need for control and protectiveness, and instead choose transparency and openheartedness.

The courage to be intimate comes from changing our belief and from understanding that transparency and vulnerability do not equate to a threat of injury or loss to our real self. Intimacy is not a show of weakness, nor indicative of a powerless person. Rather, it is a sure indication of an emotionally matured, integrated personality. Our socially programmed idea that intimacy is to be experienced only with those safest or closest to us is in need of change. Because intimacy is a violation to the ego, both individually and collectively, strides taken towards its accomplishment will require patience and compassion. Because the very idea of intimacy is a threat to our ego person and thus our autonomous self, we spend more time avoiding intimacy than embracing it. The truth is that we can be intimate with everyone all of the time, if we truly understand what intimacy is.